With the news that Call of Duty, of all things, is getting adapted into a movie by the director of Battleship—and it’s unfortunately set in the Modern Warfare universe—I got vivid flashbacks to the series’ last attempt in multimedia.
Back in 2011, Activision decided it was time to change how it would support Call of Duty games post-launch. Modern Warfare 3 (the first one) saw the introduction of Call of Duty Elite, a subscription service that included monthly content like new maps, as well as social network tools. While there was a free, lite version which included things like Theater Mode and career stats, the real deal cost $50 a year.
Of course, the monthly DLC (later sold as separate packs for non-subscribers) was the reason most people, myself included, ever joined up. But Activision was really pushing for it to be a social network-inspired multimedia platform, so it sweetened the deal with three video series, one by Ridley and Tony Scott, another by Will Arnett and Jason Bateman, and one from Andrew Santino.
Friday Night Fights
In a world where rivalries rule, one game stands alone. How far will you go to win in the ultimate test of survival? One fight, winner takes all. Every shot counts.
Ridley Scott, the acclaimed creator of Aliens, Blade Runner, and so on, teamed up with his late brother Tony Scott to executive produce Friday Night Fights. This game show series pitted two teams of players against each other in odd matchups, hosted by Stacy Keebler.
Ever wanted to find out whether the police or fire department were better at Call of Duty? No? Well, now you could. How about rappers versus rockstars? New York or Boston? Winners would get to trash-talk while receiving a championship belt and a donation to the Call of Duty Endowment charity in their name.
Each episode boiled down to the two teams meeting their coaches to discuss the game plan (usually just trash-talking, honestly, or incredibly surface-level tips), then sitting down opposite their enemy to insult each other face-to-face and play a few matches of MW3.
The New York versus Boston episode was basically just the latter team chanting “New York sucks” for the entire 15-minute episode, and occasionally calling the players ugly. You get the vibe—it was very 2011.
Each player would also get an over-the-top MTV Cribs-esque introduction and profile, telling you their favourite weapon, playstyle, and how many hours of CoD they played a week. I’m sure it was cool back then, but it’s certainly dated now.
Surprisingly, it did quite well and went for three seasons, airing from 2011-2012 before being discontinued. The final season traded celebrities and themed match-ups for a season-long esports tournament setup. It never quite lived up to its oddly serious intro: “In a world where rivalries rule, one game stands alone. How far will you go to win in the ultimate test of survival? One fight, winner takes all. Every shot counts.”
Cocked Hammers
Now which one of you needle dicks called me a eunuch?
Created by actors Will Arnett and Jason Bateman, Cocked Hammers is genuinely cool, being an odd half-animated, half-in-game footage Machinima-style skit show. It starred Arnett and Bateman, as well as Peter Giles and Justin Theroux, each with unique player models based on their actors since the story was that the four friends had been sucked into the game like Jumanji. And it played out basically like Halo’s iconic Red vs Blue Machinima series but in Call of Duty.
Again, it’s a product of its time. To give you an idea, in one episode, Will Arnett’s character discovers they can’t pee because they don’t have a penis, so they run around the map trying to figure out how to die. Then he accidentally levels up and unlocks the ‘premium upgrade Magnum’, turns to the other characters, and says “Now which one of you needle dicks called me a eunuch?”.
Cocked Hammers is undoubtedly saved by having Will Arnett and Jason Bateman lead. Simply put, they’re good actors so seeing their crudely digitised soldiers interact is good fun even today, and you can tell they’re actually trying.
Noob Tube
Now it looks like a butt cannon that poops grenades.
Noob Tube was a community series where actor and comedian Andrew Santino would react to players’ gameplay clips. He’d often make a snide remark or dated joke at the player’s expense, but this series did hit the mark for a more community-focused show for Call of Duty’s new social platform.
Playing with Santino’s experience as a comedian, there were also skits interspersed between the clips. In one episode they did a fake advert for the massage spa on the Bootleg map, and another about the weather forecast on the maps for the week, despite the fact it never changed.
The jokes were relentless and very hit and miss, but I’ll admit that there’s still some fun to be had in watching this relic, and not just for nostalgia’s sake. Honestly, I kind of miss the lighthearted tone of this show—it wouldn’t land the same if it was made today.
It’s pretty easy to hate on all three of these shows, especially given the big names somehow backing them, but they were, and still are, oddly good fun. Sometimes because they’re cringe-worthy, and other times because they’re genuinely charming.
Honestly, I think I’d prefer Activision start these weird, creative projects up again rather than pump money into what I can only imagine being the most generic war movie ever produced. I can see Captain Price and co. bending the rules to do what they think is right by playing the campaign. I can’t see a confusing mix of celebrities attached to officially home-brewed Machinima animations.
